“Heartless Relations”

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I finally
Discovered
How this
Relationship
Collapsed
Why coldness
Fills the inside
Of my heart
And now
How to warm it
Even after
The heartache
You put me through
I am not
Completely broken
My memories
Helped me
To see
The truth
About you
They came with
Such forcefulness
Flooding back
To tell me
A story
Our life
Played
On a big screen
In my head
As a movie
At first
It was
Too fast
But it eventually
Slowed down
Showing me
In great detail
What you did
To me
And
How you tried
To leave
Me broken
It began
By you telling
One lie
Then another lie
Building
And creating
A life
On a crooked foundation
Topped with
A house of cards
That was
Ready to crumble
At any moment
It was not
My fault
You could not
Tell the truth
I loved you
I will not
Regret it
I meant it
I was in it
It is your loss
When we
Could have
Had a beautiful
Story

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I Value My Safety”

Why is it
That some people
Include me
In games
I don’t want
To play
Too many people
Putting me
In deadly situations
With riddles
That don’t
Make sense
And no
Plausible answers
To guess
I’m hanging
From
Death traps
I can not
Escape
There are no
Safety nets
To catch me
From sudden death

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I’m a guareenteed
Loser
In this game
When there
Are no
Rules
To keep me safe
I can not
Understand
Why there are
People
Happy at
Putting me
In danger
Because
They believe
My safety is
Not a value
To them
I am not
Put here
To be
Played with
Or
Entertainment
For people
That are
Unhappy
With their
Life

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Island Of Our Own”

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All I ask
Is that you
Promise
Yourself
That you
Will surrender
Your stress
Lock it up
Keeping it
Away from
This happiness
With both
Want to share
The pain you
Had before me
Don’t give
It so
Much control
Just
Direct all
Your senses
And
Concentrate
On us
Let’s stay
In our world
Our own piece
Of heaven
In the center
Of a
Complicated world
No outside
Madness
Will ever
Enter
What
Is outside
Stays outside
Where it can’t
Hurt us
Never
Destroying
What we’ve grown
This kingdom
Is no kingdom
Without this bond
I will always
Be your refuge
And you will be mine
So
Let me
Be that
Barbed wire
Surrounding
Protecting
And
Keeping you
Mentally
And
Emotionally strong
Don’t worry
All trespasses
Will not enter
So relax
And let go
Leaving all
Your worries
Behind you
When you
Come across
This heavenly
Threshold
Where we
Have built
A strong foundation
I can guarantee
All our past
Sweat and tears
Will hold
It up
In any storm
No weathering
Or
Taking shelter
Anywhere else
We are home

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Who’s In Control”

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No one
Knows your life
Or the struggle
You make
On a daily
Just don’t lie
About it
Live your Truth
Don’t hide
Behind the lie
That you are
An independent woman
When you rely
On men to pay
Your bills
And give you gifts
Answer
One question
What would you do
If men
Did not
Paying
Would you even
Consider it
To take off
Your clothes
And prance for them
You say men
Don’t take advantage
Of a you
Because you’re
Your own boss
But all you’ve bossed
Is opening your mouth
And laying on your back
Any right
It’s your decision
You made
Your choice
But
Are you really
Being true
To yourself
When you’re the
Next act
Following someone else
Stripping
For tips
Why are not
Confident
In your brain
And your good sense
To make money
The right way
And be your own boss
In any event
It’s your decision
To live your life
You don’t
Have to answer
To me
It’s not my life

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Laid In Front Of You”

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Two glasses
On a table
Rotated to
Your point
Of view
It does not
Matter
Everyone else
Sees it as
Wrong
But you
Say it
Ain’t so
Your reasoning
Is warped
You will never
See
The truth
Even if
It was
Presented right
In front
Of you
My conclusion
Is I’m damned
In whatever
I do
I will never
Have the chance
To be
A part of
Your life
I’m forever
At arms length
Doubted
With no
Reason
To back it up
I’m feeling
Some type of way
Because you lied
You put me
In this position
Making me
Feel like
I’m the one
That is wrong
And blind
To the truth
I shouldn’t have
To defend myself
When I’ve
Committed no crime
Against you
You are the one
That let your
Past and enemies
Condemn me
Someone else
Made the decision
To hurt you
That was them
Not me
I’ve been here
Standing steadfast
Beside you
Never faltering
Real and confident
In every step
I made with you
I laid everything
About me
Out on the table
You should
Know me
My heart
My story
And my character
Nothing has
Ever changed
I’ve been the same
Person
I hate how
You say
You want
Someone real
But keep
Doing stupid
Things to offend me
Stop taking it
Out on me
I’ve never
Turned my back
Once on you
I was the one
That told you
You was family
And
Embraced you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Inexcusable Behaviour”

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I’ve recorded
And analyzed
Everything
Mentally
Never
Forgetting
The lies
That left
Your mouth
So easily
I won’t
Forget
That you lied
Straight to
My face
I remembered it
As if it
Was yesterday
So vividly
I can still
Taste
The hate
That spued from
Your mouth
You lacked
Self-respect
And all dignity
Your
Actions
Spoke
With fluidity
While slug
And sewage
Poured
Slowly
From all your
Crevices
Stinking up
The air
There was
No way
To breath
Around your
Poisonous
Toxicity
The habits
You’ve developed
From your past
Is hindering you
And
You’ve formed a
Very distinctive
Pelicular feature
That shields you
You are unable
To respect
Those good
To you
But today
My truth
Will be
Smacking you
I was born
With the capability
Of seeing
Truth
And
Bull shit
Around me
I treat
Your words as
Little Particles
Floating
In the air
About to plague
My environment
With a
Virus
With no cure
For me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“My Enemy Of My Enemy”

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You live
With them
Everyday
Going to
Family events
Birthdays
Funerals
And
Holidays
You shouldn’t
Have to
Be afraid
Of what
They will
Do behind
Your back
But you are
You can’t
Trust them
As far as
You can throw
Them
It’s that
Heartbreaking
Saying
Who needs
Enemies
When you have
Family
No stranger can
Do worst
Than them
Than people
Closer to you
They know
You better
Than anyone
They are family
Your secrets
Are their ammunition
And they use
Them
Like bullets
Hitting you
In rapid
Fire sessions
Center mass
Shredding your heart
Into pieces
Guaranteeing no
Chance of rescuitation
All that’s
Needed to
Be done
Is to
Pronounce you
DOA
At the scene

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Grow Up Or Leave”

I’m not
That other
Woman that
You had
Last
In your bed
I can not
Be
In a relationship
With a man child
I’m grown
Looking for
A grown up
Relationship
I’m only
Accepting
To live
My life
With man
I don’t want
To have to
Break it down
Every time
We talk
As if you’re
My child
Your mother
Raised you
I should be
Reaping the benefits
Of her
Hard work
Giving you
Values
Morals
And
Common sense
Yet I’m talking
Slow and carefully
Pronouncing each word
Almost sounding
Them out
So you don’t
Get lost
Sit back
Listen to
A grown person
Speak
Learn
Something
20171109_224017
Before you
Bounce
A check
You can not cash
You are too
Busy trying
To over talk
Me
But you haven’t
Heard a word
I said
You’re in over
Your head
Too stubborn
Full of yourself
You are not seeing
Past your
Pride
Your ego is bruised
You are
Quick to fight
Ready for action
No talking
Or listening
To my side
You would rather
Have things
Get out of hand
Being a type of
Man
That will
Lose everything
Quicker than
A blink
Because you’re not
Noticing
I’m one step
From throwing
In the towel
Leaving
And not returning
Again
Don’t punish me
Because
You don’t like
My answers
I gave
To questions
That don’t
Make sense
You haven’t
Proved your case
In the least
I haven’t lied
I won’t
Admit to anything
Not the truth
Either believe me
Or leave me
I will not satisfy
Your rants
Grow up and
Stop acting
Like an a$$

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Leave The Drama On TV”

I try
To keep
My life
Simple
And
Easy
To the best
Of my ability
By keeping
The most important
People close
And near to me
That love me
Dearly
I do not care
For liars
Thieves
And
Drama queens
To surround me
I have that on
Cable TV
I can watch
It any time
I feel the need
For a drama series
20171108_230828
Granted
No one
Owes me
Anything
Only thing
I ask for
Is peace
And respect
And I will
Come easy
With an open
Mind
And clean ears
To hear
You speak
Just have something
To say to me
I will not wait
For a open mouth
With a voice
That is silent
I don’t need
Your deafening
Silence
Inside of me
My gift
I gave
I showed up
To something
Ill-prepared
And slapped
Together with
Crazy glue
You threw
That opportunity
In the garbage
So easily
All you had
To do
Is be Real
Lead with honesty
Speak your truth
Then
Give your love freely
It would have
Been
A start
To a new beginning

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Waiting On Destiny”

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This feeling
I’m feeling
Is foreign
To me
I do not
Feel
Like
Me
It’s a stranger
With my face
In front of me
Staring through the
Mirror
Right
At me
I am
A million miles
Away from
Where I want
To be
In my dreams
In my reality
I’m
No where
But in space
Floating about
Aimlessly
My life is
Not
A Happy one
Not
A Sad one
Either
I’m
Just part
Of
An existence
Not yet
Able to
Reach my
Full potential
And being who
I need to be
My hand is raised
Like
I’m in class
Waiting on
The teacher
To count me
I’m one of those
People
Waiting on
Destiny
I’m in line
For greatness
And I’m not moving
Until I see
The path
I should take
To get me there
The almighty has
Blessed and engrained
Patience inside
Of me
So I will wait
On him
And only him
To guide me
I know it
Will be marvelous
A phenomenon
That all will
Want to see
I will be
His masterpiece
Being what
I should be
And
Not what I want
To be

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Fountain Of Youth”

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I gave
My love
Freely
Being
Deaf
Blind
And
Stupid
All together
Misguided in the game
Of love
Giving too much
Too soon
Being all in
On love
Giving
One hundred percent
Before I knew
You better
You
Kept your distance
But reeled me in
While still remaining
To be a stranger
Refusing to give
Your entire heart
Or even a piece
Of it
Yet I still
Did not
See it as
A game
You were playing
I should have
Known better
I gave
My youth
To you
And you did not
Deserve it
You was
A taker
And not a giver
You loved
Bathing
In my tears
On a daily
Not caring
About your actions
You thrived on
Making me weaker
As you grew strong
While laughing
At my
Crippling demeanor
Now when
I looked
In the mirror
I see
Something that’s
Not me
A Weak
Broken
Woman
I had to finally
Face myself
The truth was
You was never
My hero
Just
Low level zero
That played me
I wish
I had noticed
It sooner
I was
Hell bent
Being in loving
With someone
I did not
Want to see
Anything clearer
I was denial
I have to
Stop searching
For love
In all the wrong places
Then blaming others
On my bad decisions
I stayed
Too long
In a situation
Where I was
Slowly dying
And recharging
Someone else’s
Power

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Only Truth Be Told”

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With me
Or against me
Take heed
To my warning
A lie is
A deal breaker
In any type
Of relationship
With me
It is not
Me
You are saving
With your lies
But yourself
Be truthful
To avoid a decision
That is mine
To make
I am not afraid to
Live without you
In my life
I will have
No regrets
Do not
Come to me
Without
Your truth
Come quickly
With your answers
When I ask questions
That matter to me
Say it
Without thinking
Too much
To save face
Your lies
Will never
Give me comfort
So do not
Make it
Your only excuse
To avoid
The disappointment
Upon my face
There is a greater
Price to pay
For every lie
You kill
What was ever good
Between us
And replacing it
With empty space
Dividing us
So much
We will never
Be able to
Find our way back
To each other’s
Embrace
You can not have
It both ways
Either you
Live alone
In a house
Full of lies
Or
With me
In Truth
It’s only one world
I can live in
And I know
You know
Which place
Do not put it
On me
When you let
Your cowardness
Help
Lead you into
Pushing my hand
And choosing
To leave
After I find out
What you
Could not
Say
To my face

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Books Unopened”

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This pure love
Comes in a
Tarnished package
Covered in dirt
And grim
To hide among us
Confusing almost everyone
But the ones ready
To see
It’s value
You will
Never understand
Unless you’re open
To why your heart
Is not full
And
Does not beat
Strong
Calm
And
Steadily
It’s because you are
Missing out on
A love
So true
It is
Beyond the physical
It’s something
Of a spiritual connection
That is
Extraordinary
And a privilege
For those
That are willing
To love unconditionally
Taking it as a gift
And handling it
With special care
Like a museum curator
Opening it carefully
In a white room
With white gloves
Avoiding
Contamination
Trying not to
Lose it’s value
These beautiful spirits
Are rare books
In the library
And
Once you’ve read them
They will bring
New life
To everything
It’s up
To you
To continue
From the first page
To the last page
To see 
What lies beneath
The  surface
A marvellous story
Will be told
And will include you
It is a priceless
Experience
So
Wonderful
To know such
An
Amazing
Blessed
Anointed individual
That God wanted
To bless you with
To walk
Hand and hand
Through
Life
For Eternity

-Yellowbonewonda

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“What If Game”

Going back
And forth
Between
Two World’s
Is dangerous
Either let go
Of your pain
Or let go
Of your joy
You can not
Hold on to
Two World’s
Without consequence
Jumping in
And out
Of them
On a daily
One day you
Will explode
And lose your sanity
On reentry
What would you do
Would you stay
Or
Would you run away
From the commitment
Of loving me
Living for me
And being with me
Forever and a day
If I tell you
I love you
I need you
I want you
Would you be happy
Would you be joyful
To have everything
In me
Your wife
In your bed
Your queen
In your heart
The future mother of
Your children
The best friend
You can always trust
But you want
To play
This game
We can play
Of course
The
What if game
Just hope you don’t lose
Because all games
Have to end
Someday
What ifs
Are the scenarios
That will leave
You empty
Cold
And alone
At night
In your bed
Searching for
What you lost
Because
You was too afraid
To open your
Heart
And let go of
Things in
Your head
You can not
Hold on to the
Past
It’s History
That’s what it is
It has nothing
To do with me
Someone else
Caused your pain
Don’t take it
Out on me
Don’t treat me
As if I am
Your enemy
I’m not the one
That broke your heart
Leaving behind
A tortured soul
Not able to
Leave among
The living
Release your sorrow
Heal your heart
Take my hand
And let me lead
You to our forever
Just made for us
A beautiful
Place indeed

20171025_223410.jpg

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Don’t Go Backwards”

It’s a question
You need to ask
Yourself
If you are
In the middle
Of the ocean
With no lifeboats
Deployed
No lifevest to put on
Just endless water
What do you do
Drown or swim
To safety
Common sense
Would say swim
For your life
So why is it so
Hard for you
On land
To help yourself
When you are dry drowning
Surrounded by ignorant people
Why do you
Continue to overindulge with
Their nonsense
They are not
Looking out for your
Best interest
This life brings
Enough crap
Political views
That don’t
Help no one
But the rich
And powerful
Making them richer
Family secrets
Coming to light
Not hidden in the closet
Like they use to
These restless skeletons
Want to breath
Fresh air
And walk
Among us
They are speaking up
For their victims
Unlike their protectors
Friends that are
Enemies
Yet are friends
Frenemies
Damn that’s confusing
I rather be
By myself
Then be in that
Colossal mess
And last but least
The broken society
That hates
For no other reason
We all have
Slight differences
We all are human
With the same makeup
Blood Bones Organs
So why are people cruel
To one another
Screwing
Over the helpless
Kicking them down
While they are
Already on the ground
And
Begging for mercy

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$hit is ridiculous
This crap just will not
Go down the toilet
It won’t
Flush away
It just keeps circling
Coming back up
To the surface
Taunting
Peaking over the rim
Meanwhile stinking up
The joint
Leaving you
Two choices
Either
Fix the problem
Or
Seek professional help
Because this clog
In your life
It’s a nuisance
You’re out of order
In need of repair
Stop
Struggling
For no reason
You’re not obligated
To save everyone
If you can’t save yourself
Tackle one thing at a time
Or you will be no use
To no one

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Cupid’s Plan”

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I could not evade
And escape
Cupid’s arrows
Forever
I gave up
And allowed it to
Pierce me right
Through my heart
Creating a wonderful havoc
That uprooted my world
Today
Love and insanity
Took over me
Making me
Go against
All my rules
My common sense
Went out the window
I was caught
In a forceful attraction
Causing me to
Spin out of control
I’m in love
And in lust
With the one
And only
Person in this world
That is
My soulmate
My best friend
My confidant
Who knows me well
I was yours
I could not
Resist
I fell fast
And got entangled
Into your passionate gaze
Looking steadily
And intently
I felt
Confined and cornered
All my life
Until
My mind
Body
And Soul
Connected
On all levels
With yours
We became One
It was an
Overwhelming
Exhilarating
Joy
It’s like a dream
Come true
You
Wanting me
Needing me
And
Embracing our love
As we
Come together
Our clothes
Dropping to the floor
One by one
Teasing our loins
Anticipating
The feeling when
Will we feel
The passion
That is building up
Beneath these clothes
I’m begging
Please
Please
Kiss me
Caress me
And pentratrate
My walls
Fill me
With the utmost estascy
That is
Beyond
This realm
Of this
Destined love

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Animal Insincts”

I’m reduced to
Waiting for someone
To feed me my food
Through a closed
Fortified door

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People still feel my frustration
Fearing my aggressiveness
Afraid of my sharp teeth
And razor cut claws
These prison guards know
How much I hunger for freedom
And if they make one slip up
I won’t waste my opportunity
They think I am the lesser of humanity
That my life is not valuable as any other life
On this Earth
I watch as they Kill us
One by one as if it’s for sport
Mounting our heads on their wall
As if it was a fair fight
Using bullets
Tazers and tranquilizer darts
Pretending to be the ultimate predator
But come at me without your weapons
And you will see my aggressive nature
I have been a caged animal
For so long
Captured by man
Taken from my home
Separated from my pride
A magnificent beast
I was
Full of life
No one could compare me
To any other
I turned heads by my shining grace
I was a majestic royal
I made the laws of the lands
Even though it’s confusing
I was feared by everyone
And loved by all
Top of the food chain
Inside my own domain
Now I’m reduced to
People’s amusement
They point and laugh
At my sadness
I’m stuck in this cage
Missing my home
Imprisoned for the rest of my life
I’m disappearing
Diminishing to a mere house pet
I must remember everyday
And not be broken down
I am a fierce predator
That stands in front of you
I have strong bloodlines
Coursing through my veins
Calming my spirit
Encouraging me to imagine
The crisp air back home
Feeding the predator in me
I am not just an animal
And it doesn’t
Give you
The right
To erase my kind
As if we don’t matter
I am a determined
To get back to my family
You will not be
Stuffing or mounting me
Any time in the near future

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Breaking Down”

I have not done it in awhile
But I had a good reason
My body was not prepared
For the new stretches

Muscles have weakened
Stiff and not as limber
As it once was
Only a few years ago

I bent over to
Touch my toes
As I came up
I stopped

Suddenly half way up
I grabbed
Under my breast
Swelling had already set in

As big as my palm
Increasing by the second
Almost covering half my body
Over my ribs

It felt so unnatural
All I could do was
Hold on to dear life
To a chair arms length away
from me

The pain was nothing
I could walk off
My eyes teared up
Someone noticed

Causing panic all around me
People rushing to my rescue
My silence and facial expressions
Said it all

I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t breathe
I could only hear the person

Standing next to me
Holding me up
Saying
Take a slow

Deep breath
Breathe breathe
Don’t tense up
It wasn’t working

The attention of everyone staring
Made me more anxious
I was panicking
The surges were hitting me

Worser than the other
Getting rapid and stronger
Coming one after another
Not giving me a chance to catch my breath

Don’t touch me
Don’t move me
Played in my head
Just leave me be

I can get through this
Don’t bother
It was as if something was moving
Under my chest outward

It felt like a ripple effect
As if someone
Had thrown a pebble
Into a body of still water

Causing
A sound so clear
But faint
And if you turned away

Before the pebble hit
You miss the awesomeness
In seeing something so small
Causing water

To move in rapid motion
Creating mini
Circles
Expanding bigger and bigger

Until it disappears
But to me
It was not awesomeness
It was pure torture

So bad I felt like I was having
An out of body experience
Escaping for a moment
Until it was safe

To re-enter
I would not
Wish this pain
On my worst enemy

I hate being this broken
Helpless
And so angry
Because no one knows how to fix me

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-Yellowbonewonda

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