“My Enemy Of My Enemy”

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You live
With them
Everyday
Going to
Family events
Birthdays
Funerals
And
Holidays
You shouldn’t
Have to
Be afraid
Of what
They will
Do behind
Your back
But you are
You can’t
Trust them
As far as
You can throw
Them
It’s that
Heartbreaking
Saying
Who needs
Enemies
When you have
Family
No stranger can
Do worst
Than them
Than people
Closer to you
They know
You better
Than anyone
They are family
Your secrets
Are their ammunition
And they use
Them
Like bullets
Hitting you
In rapid
Fire sessions
Center mass
Shredding your heart
Into pieces
Guaranteeing no
Chance of rescuitation
All that’s
Needed to
Be done
Is to
Pronounce you
DOA
At the scene

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Karma Will Get You”

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I feel
Every time
I’m around you
I’m dry drowning
In front of you
I can not depend
On you
To save me
If I do
I should
Give up now
Lay down
And let mother nature
End my pain
And
Devour me
It’s just
The realization
I’ve come to
I’ve realized you
Will never
Attempt to come
To my rescue
You’re a liar
Manipulator
A con artist
You lie
About everything
Telling everyone
The sky is gray
When everyone
Sees it’s blue
You have never
Told the truth
To save one life
Including yours
That’s why
You are dead inside
God forbid
If you ever
Said to anyone
I put it on my
Mother
Father
Brother
Sister
Daughter
Son
Life
Everyone would
Fall dead then
No one will
Survive your curse
On them
You would like it
Wouldn’t you
You’re delusional
If you believe
You’ve fooled
The world
Your obsession
With yourself
Is clear as
A sunny day
In June
You want what
You want
At any cost
Not caring
Who gets hurt
In the process
You have
No heart
To give
And
Compassion
Is a curse word
If anyone
Ask for it
From you
You are evil
You get kicks
And thrills
Out of
Tormenting
People
God
Does not like ugly
You will get yours
I don’t have
To do nothing
To you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Fountain Of Youth”

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I gave
My love
Freely
Being
Deaf
Blind
And
Stupid
All together
Misguided in the game
Of love
Giving too much
Too soon
Being all in
On love
Giving
One hundred percent
Before I knew
You better
You
Kept your distance
But reeled me in
While still remaining
To be a stranger
Refusing to give
Your entire heart
Or even a piece
Of it
Yet I still
Did not
See it as
A game
You were playing
I should have
Known better
I gave
My youth
To you
And you did not
Deserve it
You was
A taker
And not a giver
You loved
Bathing
In my tears
On a daily
Not caring
About your actions
You thrived on
Making me weaker
As you grew strong
While laughing
At my
Crippling demeanor
Now when
I looked
In the mirror
I see
Something that’s
Not me
A Weak
Broken
Woman
I had to finally
Face myself
The truth was
You was never
My hero
Just
Low level zero
That played me
I wish
I had noticed
It sooner
I was
Hell bent
Being in loving
With someone
I did not
Want to see
Anything clearer
I was denial
I have to
Stop searching
For love
In all the wrong places
Then blaming others
On my bad decisions
I stayed
Too long
In a situation
Where I was
Slowly dying
And recharging
Someone else’s
Power

-Yellowbonewonda

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“It’s On You”

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You give
Undeserving
People
Permission
To continue
Doing the
Same thing
Over
and over again
To you
They are not
The villain
In your heroic
Story
Of being the
Only good
Person
That shit
Just happens to
Everyone
Sees
What you’re
Too blind to see
You’re in love
With love
And if
It’s your choice
To continue
With the game
You are playing
You can not
Keep asking
To change the rules
A skunk
Is a skunk
You can not change
The smell
That it sprays on you
It’s just
Not going to happen
Either
Accept them
As is
A piece of
Foul smelling
Crap
Or keep it moving
You’re no longer
A victim
The only enemy
You truly have
Is the person
Standing on
The other
Side of the mirror
Looking back at you
The reflection
Can be scary
To look at
But you have
To confront
Those sad little
Psyches inside
Of you
If you
Continue
Down the road
Of self destruction
It’s your road
To travel
You can not
Keep blaming
People that use you
Once you’ve
Discovered
Their motives
Of taking everything
Away from you
Your choices are clear
Either stay
Or go
And
If you choose
To stay
Stop being angry
And pretending
That you are feed up
Every time
They disappoint you
You won’t leave
You rather have
Half or three fourths
Of a person
Than find
Someone better
For you
You love
That misery
Keeps your bed
Warm at night
To be with
A taker
A liar
And a cheater
Hmmm
The answer should
Be clear
NO
Right
Yet that is not
The answer
Everyone thought
You would choose
You do not
Want anything better
Than what
You already have
Now
And it is
Nothing

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I Can’t Hate No More “

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We have lost
Our dream
Of being
Together forever
This house
Is in a realm
Of purgatory
Unblessed
A prison
With two psychotics
Together
Living on
No food
No water
Only the Devil’s enchantment
Can’t you see
We are
Slowly dying
What was good
Between us
Is history
There are posters
Posted
Stating
We are missing
Our dreams are gone
This marriage
Is a travesty
Our vows
Didn’t include
All this toxicity
The thought of becoming
Mortal enemies
Is reality
Fighting
Arguing
Screaming
Then
Going to bed
Angry
Repeating
It again
And again
We are on
A merry-go-round
Spinning
Ourselves dizzy
But
Today is the day
To find clarity
The beginning
To the end
Of this tyranny
We need
Out of this
Craziness
No more talking
No more
Casting blame
And trying to remember
Who stopped
Loving who
We both did
And stopped
Caring
To build up
Our kingdom
What’s left now
Is instability
Landslide of debris
Let us
Please leave
Before it kills us

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Animal Insincts”

I’m reduced to
Waiting for someone
To feed me my food
Through a closed
Fortified door

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People still feel my frustration
Fearing my aggressiveness
Afraid of my sharp teeth
And razor cut claws
These prison guards know
How much I hunger for freedom
And if they make one slip up
I won’t waste my opportunity
They think I am the lesser of humanity
That my life is not valuable as any other life
On this Earth
I watch as they Kill us
One by one as if it’s for sport
Mounting our heads on their wall
As if it was a fair fight
Using bullets
Tazers and tranquilizer darts
Pretending to be the ultimate predator
But come at me without your weapons
And you will see my aggressive nature
I have been a caged animal
For so long
Captured by man
Taken from my home
Separated from my pride
A magnificent beast
I was
Full of life
No one could compare me
To any other
I turned heads by my shining grace
I was a majestic royal
I made the laws of the lands
Even though it’s confusing
I was feared by everyone
And loved by all
Top of the food chain
Inside my own domain
Now I’m reduced to
People’s amusement
They point and laugh
At my sadness
I’m stuck in this cage
Missing my home
Imprisoned for the rest of my life
I’m disappearing
Diminishing to a mere house pet
I must remember everyday
And not be broken down
I am a fierce predator
That stands in front of you
I have strong bloodlines
Coursing through my veins
Calming my spirit
Encouraging me to imagine
The crisp air back home
Feeding the predator in me
I am not just an animal
And it doesn’t
Give you
The right
To erase my kind
As if we don’t matter
I am a determined
To get back to my family
You will not be
Stuffing or mounting me
Any time in the near future

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Breaking Down”

I have not done it in awhile
But I had a good reason
My body was not prepared
For the new stretches

Muscles have weakened
Stiff and not as limber
As it once was
Only a few years ago

I bent over to
Touch my toes
As I came up
I stopped

Suddenly half way up
I grabbed
Under my breast
Swelling had already set in

As big as my palm
Increasing by the second
Almost covering half my body
Over my ribs

It felt so unnatural
All I could do was
Hold on to dear life
To a chair arms length away
from me

The pain was nothing
I could walk off
My eyes teared up
Someone noticed

Causing panic all around me
People rushing to my rescue
My silence and facial expressions
Said it all

I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t breathe
I could only hear the person

Standing next to me
Holding me up
Saying
Take a slow

Deep breath
Breathe breathe
Don’t tense up
It wasn’t working

The attention of everyone staring
Made me more anxious
I was panicking
The surges were hitting me

Worser than the other
Getting rapid and stronger
Coming one after another
Not giving me a chance to catch my breath

Don’t touch me
Don’t move me
Played in my head
Just leave me be

I can get through this
Don’t bother
It was as if something was moving
Under my chest outward

It felt like a ripple effect
As if someone
Had thrown a pebble
Into a body of still water

Causing
A sound so clear
But faint
And if you turned away

Before the pebble hit
You miss the awesomeness
In seeing something so small
Causing water

To move in rapid motion
Creating mini
Circles
Expanding bigger and bigger

Until it disappears
But to me
It was not awesomeness
It was pure torture

So bad I felt like I was having
An out of body experience
Escaping for a moment
Until it was safe

To re-enter
I would not
Wish this pain
On my worst enemy

I hate being this broken
Helpless
And so angry
Because no one knows how to fix me

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-Yellowbonewonda

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“Shadow Games”

I am not satisfied
Not by the food I eat
Not by the career I chose
Not even my purpose in this life

I question myself on a daily
Where am I going
In this lifetime
I have been wondering aimlessly
Far too long

I am hungry for something
That feels so far
Out of my reach
This craving has created sleepless nights
Making me delirious and crazy

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It has me spinning in circles
Chasing my tail
I am so clueless
I do not know what I want

Or what direction to go
I am a dog looking for my bone
Unsure
Where I buried it

It seems I’ve been searching
For what I’ve been missing inside myself
So long it’s becoming an unsolvable mystery
My anxiety has been building up

Feels like a volcano
Ready to erupt
Flowing out Hot lava
Burning everything it touches

This hunger of mine
Is a torturous thing
Never giving me peace
My stomach is always rumbling

As if I am starving
But I skip no meals
I have always cleared my plate
I eat everything

Getting my nourishment
It’s not enough
I have never felt full
A familiar emptiness

That has been with me
Since my first breath
That has grown stronger and stronger
Day after day

I am being pulled
In all directions
I feel I’m coming undone
I am afraid

That what I’m searching and craving for
May never be found
My hunger is leading me blindly
Only to have me chasing shadows

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Free Yourself”

Are you going to rise up
Or
Are you going to fall by the wayside
Are you a leader
Or
Are you going to follow the leader
Never seeing nothing
Other than the back of someone’s head

When do you think for yourself
When will you stop and listen
To the music playing all around you
The world is a symphony with its own instruments

So dance and sing freely
Dance and sing like you are in your bedroom
Or in the shower
Dance and sing like no one else is watching
Like there is no care in the world
And you are finally free

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Free of bullying
Free of peer pressure
Free of expectations
Free of hate

Everyone in this world
Has problems
Has struggles
Has weakness

But to rise up from the fire around you
All you have to do is rise

Your feet are for walking
Your head is for thinking
Your hands are for working
Your mouth is for talking

Use them to begin
The chapter of YOU

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”