“The Civil Force”

20180326_223046
Responsible
For the prevention
Detection of crime
Maintenance
Of public order
Nowhere
Says
Fear
Consternation
Discomposure
Is part
That description
Yet
This is a
Combination of
Something
That is
Building up
Only to
Boil over
Into something
Most deadly
A legalized killer
Playing
Judge
Jury
Executioner
In the street
Of our community
Putting targets
On the chest
Of people
Killing anyone
That they deem
Not human
We all
Can do
Without this
Melancholy
We need protection
Not
Twitchiness
Embedded
In the DNA of
A police officer
A peace officer
A soldier of
Community
We need
Officers
Who have
A calm mind
A steady hand
Being a
People person
With training
To see everyone
As humans
Not bullseyes
Moving amongst
Our community
Having that abilty
To deal with
People
And
Be
A peace protector
Not someone
Part of
The tyranny
Looking for revenge
Instant justice
By riddling
Unarmed
People
In the streets
With bullets
Will be
A beginning
No one is
An animal
A carcass
Needing
Collecting
Made as a
Trophy
In anyone’s mind
Worn on someone’s chest
Placed in their record
As a legalized
Good shooting
It is
A Killing
A Murder
By any meaning
Guns should be
Last resort
Majority of
Situations
Can be
Have been
Solved
Without killing
Look at
The prison system
Full to capacity
Getting fuller
By the minute
How do you
Suppose
They
Got there
Alive
Breathing
They were
Arrested
Convicted
And
Imprisoned
Either
Receiving
Justice
Or
Injustice
By the system
But alive
Nonetheless
Living to
Fight
Within the system

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Trapped By Pain’s Games”

20171230_201120
More intimate
Than any
Of my relationships
It has been
Part of me
It knows me
Inside
And
Out
Pain
A sneaky
Cunning
Scheming
Devious
Deceitful
Unscrupulous
Son of a *itch
Has either
Been
My tormentor
Torturing me
Trying to break me
Into nothingness
Or
My lover
Loving on me
Caressing me
Sending me
Into ecstasy
Then causing
Me to cry
Afterwards
Because it
Walked out
Leaving me
For just
A moment
So I could
Panic
And
Think it
Is not coming back
It has been
Doing this
Continuously
Around the clock
Nonstop
My whole life
I can not
Escape from it
I have tried
Advoidance
Acceptance
Denial
Nothing has worked
I have
Noticed
It waits
When I feel
I am happy
It is gone
Then
It comes back
With a vengeance
Changing
Its face
And
Its strategy
To reenter
Into my life
Pain’s
Message to me
Is
It is not
Going anywhere
This burden
Will be
My baggage
That is not
Fully unpacked
Pouring out
Like
A bottomless pit
The contents
Are scattering
All around me
Boxing me in
So I can not
Move
It just
Wants me
To know
I can not
Run from it
It has me
And
Will not
Let go
NEVER

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Fear Holding You Back”

20171208_231633
Speak what
You need
Into existence
Breath life
Into your
Every desire
And watch it
Grow into
Something magnificent
Make your dreams
Become reality
Do things
You need to do
Say things
You need to say
Go places
You want to go
Work your butt off
Like no other
Be your own
Champion
Fight for
You
And
Your legacy
Because no one
Will do it
For you
Do not be
Afraid
To be honest
Honest to
The one person
That counts
That reflection
Of yourself
Staring back
At you
On the other
Side of the mirror
She/he is asking
You to love
Yourself
Before You
Give yourself
To another
Be it true
In a clear
Detailed manner
Leaving no room
For confusion
Or doubt
Because once
You love yourself
People will begin
To see all of you
And what you offer
To the world
Stop
Letting things
Go
By passing up
On perfect
Opportunities
It is no crime
To be selfish
Sometimes
It’s necessary
So you do not
Lose yourself
And forget
Your purpose
For living

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Island Of Our Own”

20171119_220436
All I ask
Is that you
Promise
Yourself
That you
Will surrender
Your stress
Lock it up
Keeping it
Away from
This happiness
With both
Want to share
The pain you
Had before me
Don’t give
It so
Much control
Just
Direct all
Your senses
And
Concentrate
On us
Let’s stay
In our world
Our own piece
Of heaven
In the center
Of a
Complicated world
No outside
Madness
Will ever
Enter
What
Is outside
Stays outside
Where it can’t
Hurt us
Never
Destroying
What we’ve grown
This kingdom
Is no kingdom
Without this bond
I will always
Be your refuge
And you will be mine
So
Let me
Be that
Barbed wire
Surrounding
Protecting
And
Keeping you
Mentally
And
Emotionally strong
Don’t worry
All trespasses
Will not enter
So relax
And let go
Leaving all
Your worries
Behind you
When you
Come across
This heavenly
Threshold
Where we
Have built
A strong foundation
I can guarantee
All our past
Sweat and tears
Will hold
It up
In any storm
No weathering
Or
Taking shelter
Anywhere else
We are home

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Laid In Front Of You”

20171114_225353

Two glasses
On a table
Rotated to
Your point
Of view
It does not
Matter
Everyone else
Sees it as
Wrong
But you
Say it
Ain’t so
Your reasoning
Is warped
You will never
See
The truth
Even if
It was
Presented right
In front
Of you
My conclusion
Is I’m damned
In whatever
I do
I will never
Have the chance
To be
A part of
Your life
I’m forever
At arms length
Doubted
With no
Reason
To back it up
I’m feeling
Some type of way
Because you lied
You put me
In this position
Making me
Feel like
I’m the one
That is wrong
And blind
To the truth
I shouldn’t have
To defend myself
When I’ve
Committed no crime
Against you
You are the one
That let your
Past and enemies
Condemn me
Someone else
Made the decision
To hurt you
That was them
Not me
I’ve been here
Standing steadfast
Beside you
Never faltering
Real and confident
In every step
I made with you
I laid everything
About me
Out on the table
You should
Know me
My heart
My story
And my character
Nothing has
Ever changed
I’ve been the same
Person
I hate how
You say
You want
Someone real
But keep
Doing stupid
Things to offend me
Stop taking it
Out on me
I’ve never
Turned my back
Once on you
I was the one
That told you
You was family
And
Embraced you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Inexcusable Behaviour”

20171113_213552
I’ve recorded
And analyzed
Everything
Mentally
Never
Forgetting
The lies
That left
Your mouth
So easily
I won’t
Forget
That you lied
Straight to
My face
I remembered it
As if it
Was yesterday
So vividly
I can still
Taste
The hate
That spued from
Your mouth
You lacked
Self-respect
And all dignity
Your
Actions
Spoke
With fluidity
While slug
And sewage
Poured
Slowly
From all your
Crevices
Stinking up
The air
There was
No way
To breath
Around your
Poisonous
Toxicity
The habits
You’ve developed
From your past
Is hindering you
And
You’ve formed a
Very distinctive
Pelicular feature
That shields you
You are unable
To respect
Those good
To you
But today
My truth
Will be
Smacking you
I was born
With the capability
Of seeing
Truth
And
Bull shit
Around me
I treat
Your words as
Little Particles
Floating
In the air
About to plague
My environment
With a
Virus
With no cure
For me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Not In Line For You”

You said
You would
Need me
Want me
And
Love me
And only me
For life
But it wasn’t
The truth
Your sidechick
I guess
Had enough
Of you
Telling her
You would
Leave me
Divorce me
And make
Her your
New wife
You had
No intentions
In leaving
Her
Nor I
And that became
Your biggest mistake
You put
Your trust
In a scorned
Woman
With secrets
You kept
From me
And she got
Tired of
Your many excuses
She did
What she felt
Would make
Her happy
With one click
Destroying us
Sending
All the
Proof of
Your explicit
Relationship
Letters
Videos
Chats
In black
White
And color
Your cheating
Has costed
Us everything
It was
An ultimate kill
Killing us
Quickly

20171112_221221

I will not
Be the other woman
Waiting in line
For you
I gave you
All of me
You threw
It away
For a romp in
The hay
With someone
Otherthan me
Imploding
Everything
That mattered
Between us
There is
No way
To fixing
This mess
You created
Call her up
I know
She’s waiting for you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Grow Up Or Leave”

I’m not
That other
Woman that
You had
Last
In your bed
I can not
Be
In a relationship
With a man child
I’m grown
Looking for
A grown up
Relationship
I’m only
Accepting
To live
My life
With man
I don’t want
To have to
Break it down
Every time
We talk
As if you’re
My child
Your mother
Raised you
I should be
Reaping the benefits
Of her
Hard work
Giving you
Values
Morals
And
Common sense
Yet I’m talking
Slow and carefully
Pronouncing each word
Almost sounding
Them out
So you don’t
Get lost
Sit back
Listen to
A grown person
Speak
Learn
Something
20171109_224017
Before you
Bounce
A check
You can not cash
You are too
Busy trying
To over talk
Me
But you haven’t
Heard a word
I said
You’re in over
Your head
Too stubborn
Full of yourself
You are not seeing
Past your
Pride
Your ego is bruised
You are
Quick to fight
Ready for action
No talking
Or listening
To my side
You would rather
Have things
Get out of hand
Being a type of
Man
That will
Lose everything
Quicker than
A blink
Because you’re not
Noticing
I’m one step
From throwing
In the towel
Leaving
And not returning
Again
Don’t punish me
Because
You don’t like
My answers
I gave
To questions
That don’t
Make sense
You haven’t
Proved your case
In the least
I haven’t lied
I won’t
Admit to anything
Not the truth
Either believe me
Or leave me
I will not satisfy
Your rants
Grow up and
Stop acting
Like an a$$

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I’m Not Following Your Footprints”

20171107_221641
He created me
To be
An original
Someone unique
Marching to
My own beat
So stop
Your
Sanctimonious
Holier
Than thou
Routine
Concentrate
On where
You are going
After your
Life is complete
Your opinion
Of me
Does not
Define me
You do not
Know who I am
What I’ve seen
What I’ve
Been through
Stop being
So quick
To judge
And
Kill
People
Who are different
I am tired
Of you yelling
At the top
Of your lungs
About you
Being Christian
My life
Is not
For you
To judge
But you
Do it anyway
Telling me
My God
Will
Not love me
Because of
What I choose
To be
Or do
In my life
Yet he is
The one
That created me
So why do
You care
Where my soul goes
Heaven or Hell
It is not
Your problem
It is between
Me and my maker
He knows
Me better
Than anyone
That my heart
Is his
And filled
With his love
Pumping
Throughout me
He chooses
To gift me
The ability
To
Walk
Talk
Breath
Everyday
That his blessing
To me
You may not
See it
In his eyes
I’m unique
Special
And what
He created
Me to be
So let me be
Who I am
Suppose to be

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Waiting On Destiny”

20171105_201116
This feeling
I’m feeling
Is foreign
To me
I do not
Feel
Like
Me
It’s a stranger
With my face
In front of me
Staring through the
Mirror
Right
At me
I am
A million miles
Away from
Where I want
To be
In my dreams
In my reality
I’m
No where
But in space
Floating about
Aimlessly
My life is
Not
A Happy one
Not
A Sad one
Either
I’m
Just part
Of
An existence
Not yet
Able to
Reach my
Full potential
And being who
I need to be
My hand is raised
Like
I’m in class
Waiting on
The teacher
To count me
I’m one of those
People
Waiting on
Destiny
I’m in line
For greatness
And I’m not moving
Until I see
The path
I should take
To get me there
The almighty has
Blessed and engrained
Patience inside
Of me
So I will wait
On him
And only him
To guide me
I know it
Will be marvelous
A phenomenon
That all will
Want to see
I will be
His masterpiece
Being what
I should be
And
Not what I want
To be

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Only Truth Be Told”

20171102_214302
With me
Or against me
Take heed
To my warning
A lie is
A deal breaker
In any type
Of relationship
With me
It is not
Me
You are saving
With your lies
But yourself
Be truthful
To avoid a decision
That is mine
To make
I am not afraid to
Live without you
In my life
I will have
No regrets
Do not
Come to me
Without
Your truth
Come quickly
With your answers
When I ask questions
That matter to me
Say it
Without thinking
Too much
To save face
Your lies
Will never
Give me comfort
So do not
Make it
Your only excuse
To avoid
The disappointment
Upon my face
There is a greater
Price to pay
For every lie
You kill
What was ever good
Between us
And replacing it
With empty space
Dividing us
So much
We will never
Be able to
Find our way back
To each other’s
Embrace
You can not have
It both ways
Either you
Live alone
In a house
Full of lies
Or
With me
In Truth
It’s only one world
I can live in
And I know
You know
Which place
Do not put it
On me
When you let
Your cowardness
Help
Lead you into
Pushing my hand
And choosing
To leave
After I find out
What you
Could not
Say
To my face

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Not A Baby Mama”

I am not
Going to
Fight
A losing
Battle
To convince
No one
Of my worth
I am
A rare breed
And I know
My King
Is out there
Looking for me
He will see
His wife
Before him
Making me
An honest
Woman
Before making me
A mother
A Baby mama
I will never be
That label is
Not for me
I am only
Wifey material
A queen
Waiting for
Her king
To come
And take me back
To our kingdom
So you tired
Lame ass dudes
Pass on
By me
Before I
Break it down
For you
You
Want me
To give
My body
My time
My everything
To you
Without
Stipulations
I want
A commitment
And your
Signature on
A contract
That is spiritually
And legally binding
I refuse to just
Be anyone that
You will
Sleep with
I need to be
Your woman
That you want
To have future with
And want to marry
If you are not ready
To give everything
To me
Don’t even bother
You can not
Expect me
To just
Handover
The keys
To my everything
It is more
Precious and
Priceless
Than any
One of a kind
Man-made item
If you are afraid
What I
Won’t be
In the bedroom
Don’t be
I will
Take care of you
It will be
A married couple’s
Paradise
Behind
Closed doors
That we will
Share together
I will be that
Video Vixen
Taking care of
Your every fantasy
You won’t have
To look
Any further
Looking
For any
Broken woman
Ready to breakup
Our marriage
You will never
Be that hungry
To seek out
Something more than
Your wife
And
Lover
Because I will be enough
20171030_201832

-Yellowbonewonda

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“An Urgence”

20171023_224627
I ask you
Girl in the mirror
I already know
You are phenomenal
A queen underneath
All this rawness
A talented
And
Creative
That needs her moment
To break out
And show
Her greatness
I don’t understand
Why I can’t talk
To you
I know you’re there
I catch glimpses
Of you
Everyday
In the mirror
I feel your power
Your beauty
Your presence
It is something
To be reckoned with
It’s an amazing glory
Yet I pretend
As if you are a stranger
I am afraid
You will not like me
And accept me
For who I am
Yes I am your
Secret admirer
I’ve been
Wishing
And hoping
To be like you
Studying your every move
I swear
I’m not stalking
No one
Your essence
Surrounds me
I’m in awe of
Your magnificence
A goddess
On Earth
In front of me
Beside me
All around me
But I see those
Shattered
And
Missing pieces
But once I’m together
My greatness will be
An unstoppable power
Yet my fear
Prevents me
From knowing
How to approach you
I feeling guilty
And ashamed
That I haven’t
Ask you
The important things
That has been in my heart
Needing answers
I need to know
These
Things that
Will set me free
What makes you
You
What are you thinking
Where are you going
What is the future
For me
And
Am I worthy

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Stand Up For Yourself”

Today
Either you
Will rise
And start fighting
To win back
What is yours
Or keep sinking
Into the quicksand
That they put you in
You have to know
They are standing
Nearby and
Watching you
Die a slow death
And laughing
While
You are struggling
You don’t have
To be
Stuck between
A rock and
A hard place
20171021_224629
Stop
Giving everything
And getting nothing
In return
From those
That don’t care
For you
Or have compassion
For your suffering
I don’t understand
Where is your dignity
Your backbone
To stand up for yourself
Do you like
Being preyed upon
Are you afraid
Of them
Hating you
Or getting mad
For you standing up
To them
And
Demanding respect
After they disrespected you
It is your right
To sometimes
Be selfish
You are giving
Too much
To the ungrateful
And they are using you
Taking your money
Your sanity
Just everything
That is good in you
When is it enough
For you
To say No
And keep
Something just for you
How is it so hard
For you
To put yourself
Before those that harm you
They give nothing
To uplift
Support
Or just love you
Stop being a
Meal ticket
That keeps giving
Until you are empty
Take charge
Of your destiny
Stop the complaining
And stand up to them
Be your own person
Or they will kill you
Take your spirit
Your will
And your soul
Leaving a shell
Behind
It’s time for a change
Before there
Is nothing
Left of you
To find

-Yellowbonewonda

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“A Body With No Soul”

By: Yellowbonewonda

As I sit
Alone in this
Empty mausoleum
Once called our home
I am seeing hallucinations
Or is it
An apparition
Of you
A lost spirit
With no soul
Not present
Or accountable
Of the destruction
That is going on in
This house
It is
No longer a home
For the living
Release me from
This curse
Of you constantly
Haunting me
And not loving me
We are lost
And only holding on
Because we are familiar
To one another
But that’s not
What love is
We are either
Together
Or going our separate ways
Out of survival
So we can fill
This emptiness inside
That is close to the core
20171016_221018.jpg
We can not
Keep living
In this
Parallel world
Where you
Don’t love me
I can’t bare to live
A lifetime
Outside of your heart
A Castaway
Left on a deserted island
Surrounded by sharks
These women are out
For my blood
They smell it
In the water
They are ready
To devour me
Tear me limb
From limb
To take my place
And stand in my shoes
As if I was never
There
In the first place
Why do
You put me
Through this heartache
I would have never
Envisioned
You ever mistreating me
You’re losing
Me completely
And you don’t care
Unless someone
Else starts to see me

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“Animal Insincts”

I’m reduced to
Waiting for someone
To feed me my food
Through a closed
Fortified door

20170810_233012

People still feel my frustration
Fearing my aggressiveness
Afraid of my sharp teeth
And razor cut claws
These prison guards know
How much I hunger for freedom
And if they make one slip up
I won’t waste my opportunity
They think I am the lesser of humanity
That my life is not valuable as any other life
On this Earth
I watch as they Kill us
One by one as if it’s for sport
Mounting our heads on their wall
As if it was a fair fight
Using bullets
Tazers and tranquilizer darts
Pretending to be the ultimate predator
But come at me without your weapons
And you will see my aggressive nature
I have been a caged animal
For so long
Captured by man
Taken from my home
Separated from my pride
A magnificent beast
I was
Full of life
No one could compare me
To any other
I turned heads by my shining grace
I was a majestic royal
I made the laws of the lands
Even though it’s confusing
I was feared by everyone
And loved by all
Top of the food chain
Inside my own domain
Now I’m reduced to
People’s amusement
They point and laugh
At my sadness
I’m stuck in this cage
Missing my home
Imprisoned for the rest of my life
I’m disappearing
Diminishing to a mere house pet
I must remember everyday
And not be broken down
I am a fierce predator
That stands in front of you
I have strong bloodlines
Coursing through my veins
Calming my spirit
Encouraging me to imagine
The crisp air back home
Feeding the predator in me
I am not just an animal
And it doesn’t
Give you
The right
To erase my kind
As if we don’t matter
I am a determined
To get back to my family
You will not be
Stuffing or mounting me
Any time in the near future

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Breaking Down”

I have not done it in awhile
But I had a good reason
My body was not prepared
For the new stretches

Muscles have weakened
Stiff and not as limber
As it once was
Only a few years ago

I bent over to
Touch my toes
As I came up
I stopped

Suddenly half way up
I grabbed
Under my breast
Swelling had already set in

As big as my palm
Increasing by the second
Almost covering half my body
Over my ribs

It felt so unnatural
All I could do was
Hold on to dear life
To a chair arms length away
from me

The pain was nothing
I could walk off
My eyes teared up
Someone noticed

Causing panic all around me
People rushing to my rescue
My silence and facial expressions
Said it all

I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t breathe
I could only hear the person

Standing next to me
Holding me up
Saying
Take a slow

Deep breath
Breathe breathe
Don’t tense up
It wasn’t working

The attention of everyone staring
Made me more anxious
I was panicking
The surges were hitting me

Worser than the other
Getting rapid and stronger
Coming one after another
Not giving me a chance to catch my breath

Don’t touch me
Don’t move me
Played in my head
Just leave me be

I can get through this
Don’t bother
It was as if something was moving
Under my chest outward

It felt like a ripple effect
As if someone
Had thrown a pebble
Into a body of still water

Causing
A sound so clear
But faint
And if you turned away

Before the pebble hit
You miss the awesomeness
In seeing something so small
Causing water

To move in rapid motion
Creating mini
Circles
Expanding bigger and bigger

Until it disappears
But to me
It was not awesomeness
It was pure torture

So bad I felt like I was having
An out of body experience
Escaping for a moment
Until it was safe

To re-enter
I would not
Wish this pain
On my worst enemy

I hate being this broken
Helpless
And so angry
Because no one knows how to fix me

20170802_201056

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Shadow Games”

I am not satisfied
Not by the food I eat
Not by the career I chose
Not even my purpose in this life

I question myself on a daily
Where am I going
In this lifetime
I have been wondering aimlessly
Far too long

I am hungry for something
That feels so far
Out of my reach
This craving has created sleepless nights
Making me delirious and crazy

20170728_222758

It has me spinning in circles
Chasing my tail
I am so clueless
I do not know what I want

Or what direction to go
I am a dog looking for my bone
Unsure
Where I buried it

It seems I’ve been searching
For what I’ve been missing inside myself
So long it’s becoming an unsolvable mystery
My anxiety has been building up

Feels like a volcano
Ready to erupt
Flowing out Hot lava
Burning everything it touches

This hunger of mine
Is a torturous thing
Never giving me peace
My stomach is always rumbling

As if I am starving
But I skip no meals
I have always cleared my plate
I eat everything

Getting my nourishment
It’s not enough
I have never felt full
A familiar emptiness

That has been with me
Since my first breath
That has grown stronger and stronger
Day after day

I am being pulled
In all directions
I feel I’m coming undone
I am afraid

That what I’m searching and craving for
May never be found
My hunger is leading me blindly
Only to have me chasing shadows

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Free Yourself”

Are you going to rise up
Or
Are you going to fall by the wayside
Are you a leader
Or
Are you going to follow the leader
Never seeing nothing
Other than the back of someone’s head

When do you think for yourself
When will you stop and listen
To the music playing all around you
The world is a symphony with its own instruments

So dance and sing freely
Dance and sing like you are in your bedroom
Or in the shower
Dance and sing like no one else is watching
Like there is no care in the world
And you are finally free

20170628_185837

Free of bullying
Free of peer pressure
Free of expectations
Free of hate

Everyone in this world
Has problems
Has struggles
Has weakness

But to rise up from the fire around you
All you have to do is rise

Your feet are for walking
Your head is for thinking
Your hands are for working
Your mouth is for talking

Use them to begin
The chapter of YOU

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”