“Animal Insincts”

I’m reduced to
Waiting for someone
To feed me my food
Through a closed
Fortified door

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People still feel my frustration
Fearing my aggressiveness
Afraid of my sharp teeth
And razor cut claws
These prison guards know
How much I hunger for freedom
And if they make one slip up
I won’t waste my opportunity
They think I am the lesser of humanity
That my life is not valuable as any other life
On this Earth
I watch as they Kill us
One by one as if it’s for sport
Mounting our heads on their wall
As if it was a fair fight
Using bullets
Tazers and tranquilizer darts
Pretending to be the ultimate predator
But come at me without your weapons
And you will see my aggressive nature
I have been a caged animal
For so long
Captured by man
Taken from my home
Separated from my pride
A magnificent beast
I was
Full of life
No one could compare me
To any other
I turned heads by my shining grace
I was a majestic royal
I made the laws of the lands
Even though it’s confusing
I was feared by everyone
And loved by all
Top of the food chain
Inside my own domain
Now I’m reduced to
People’s amusement
They point and laugh
At my sadness
I’m stuck in this cage
Missing my home
Imprisoned for the rest of my life
I’m disappearing
Diminishing to a mere house pet
I must remember everyday
And not be broken down
I am a fierce predator
That stands in front of you
I have strong bloodlines
Coursing through my veins
Calming my spirit
Encouraging me to imagine
The crisp air back home
Feeding the predator in me
I am not just an animal
And it doesn’t
Give you
The right
To erase my kind
As if we don’t matter
I am a determined
To get back to my family
You will not be
Stuffing or mounting me
Any time in the near future

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Breaking Down”

I have not done it in awhile
But I had a good reason
My body was not prepared
For the new stretches

Muscles have weakened
Stiff and not as limber
As it once was
Only a few years ago

I bent over to
Touch my toes
As I came up
I stopped

Suddenly half way up
I grabbed
Under my breast
Swelling had already set in

As big as my palm
Increasing by the second
Almost covering half my body
Over my ribs

It felt so unnatural
All I could do was
Hold on to dear life
To a chair arms length away
from me

The pain was nothing
I could walk off
My eyes teared up
Someone noticed

Causing panic all around me
People rushing to my rescue
My silence and facial expressions
Said it all

I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t breathe
I could only hear the person

Standing next to me
Holding me up
Saying
Take a slow

Deep breath
Breathe breathe
Don’t tense up
It wasn’t working

The attention of everyone staring
Made me more anxious
I was panicking
The surges were hitting me

Worser than the other
Getting rapid and stronger
Coming one after another
Not giving me a chance to catch my breath

Don’t touch me
Don’t move me
Played in my head
Just leave me be

I can get through this
Don’t bother
It was as if something was moving
Under my chest outward

It felt like a ripple effect
As if someone
Had thrown a pebble
Into a body of still water

Causing
A sound so clear
But faint
And if you turned away

Before the pebble hit
You miss the awesomeness
In seeing something so small
Causing water

To move in rapid motion
Creating mini
Circles
Expanding bigger and bigger

Until it disappears
But to me
It was not awesomeness
It was pure torture

So bad I felt like I was having
An out of body experience
Escaping for a moment
Until it was safe

To re-enter
I would not
Wish this pain
On my worst enemy

I hate being this broken
Helpless
And so angry
Because no one knows how to fix me

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-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Shadow Games”

I am not satisfied
Not by the food I eat
Not by the career I chose
Not even my purpose in this life

I question myself on a daily
Where am I going
In this lifetime
I have been wondering aimlessly
Far too long

I am hungry for something
That feels so far
Out of my reach
This craving has created sleepless nights
Making me delirious and crazy

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It has me spinning in circles
Chasing my tail
I am so clueless
I do not know what I want

Or what direction to go
I am a dog looking for my bone
Unsure
Where I buried it

It seems I’ve been searching
For what I’ve been missing inside myself
So long it’s becoming an unsolvable mystery
My anxiety has been building up

Feels like a volcano
Ready to erupt
Flowing out Hot lava
Burning everything it touches

This hunger of mine
Is a torturous thing
Never giving me peace
My stomach is always rumbling

As if I am starving
But I skip no meals
I have always cleared my plate
I eat everything

Getting my nourishment
It’s not enough
I have never felt full
A familiar emptiness

That has been with me
Since my first breath
That has grown stronger and stronger
Day after day

I am being pulled
In all directions
I feel I’m coming undone
I am afraid

That what I’m searching and craving for
May never be found
My hunger is leading me blindly
Only to have me chasing shadows

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”

“Free Yourself”

Are you going to rise up
Or
Are you going to fall by the wayside
Are you a leader
Or
Are you going to follow the leader
Never seeing nothing
Other than the back of someone’s head

When do you think for yourself
When will you stop and listen
To the music playing all around you
The world is a symphony with its own instruments

So dance and sing freely
Dance and sing like you are in your bedroom
Or in the shower
Dance and sing like no one else is watching
Like there is no care in the world
And you are finally free

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Free of bullying
Free of peer pressure
Free of expectations
Free of hate

Everyone in this world
Has problems
Has struggles
Has weakness

But to rise up from the fire around you
All you have to do is rise

Your feet are for walking
Your head is for thinking
Your hands are for working
Your mouth is for talking

Use them to begin
The chapter of YOU

-Yellowbonewonda

“All Rights Reserved: The copyright holder retains all the rights provided by copyright law, such as distribution, performance, and creation of their work.”