“A Door To Dreams”

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Evil
Speaks in
Deafening whispers
All around you
Calling you
A failure
To discourage you
Banking on
Your weakness
To defeat you
Tempting you
To give up
Lay down
And become
A captive
Of your circumstances
Ignore them
Look
For that door
That was
Built for you
It has
A glowing light
Behind it
Open it
Escape
The prison
Taste the freedom
And the power
Be that master
And commander
That has
Always been inside
Of you
Fight
Never
Give up
Before trying
Be better
Than what
You were today
See your
Dreams as directions
And begin living
For you
Being what
You was born
To be

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Time Counting Down”

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When you
Go into
The afterlife
To present
Your case
Will you be
Granted access
To heaven or
To hell
Based on the decisions
You made
In your life
All things
Add up
For him
To pass judgement
So look at
Yourself
Make sure
You are right
Nothing
Is guaranteed
In this life
Your job
Your money
Your friends
Your family
Your next breath
When Death
Wants you
You will have
No choice
We are just
Parking meters
With no window
To inform us
Or a slot
To put more
Money into
To add time
To what is left
To stop
The expiration sign
From popping up
It will
Just be
A day when
Time will
Cease to exist
And
We will be gone
A memory
In this life
And
That
Will be
That
The end
To your life
You came
You saw
You became
A memory
In the hearts
You once touched
But is that
Enough

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Inside The Situation”

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It is
Good
Versus
Evil
And
I am caught
In the middle
My instincts
Tell me
He has nothing
To lose
He believes
And knows
A body bag
Is waiting for him
And
NO
Hostage negotiator
Will manipulate him
Talking
Is done
And
He is ready
To take as many
Lives
With him
I saw it
When our eyes
Met
And I did not
See any good
Within him
I only saw
His cold
Dead eyes
With no soul
Starring
Through me
When he pulled
That gun on me
I am a hostage
Without a way out
I am either
Doomed
Or
Destined
To be killed
By my captive
Or maybe by
The people
Sent to rescue me
Adrenaline pumping
Their finger
On the trigger
Eager to end
The situation
I see
Death whispering
In their ear
Saying
Pull the trigger
Start the
Spray of bullets
They do not
Have names
On them
So he can
Step in
And
Grab the innocent
He is not picky

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Nobody Knows When”

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Odds
Are given
To us
Every moment
In our life
Sleep or Awake
No one is
Safe
From this fate
It was the day
That we were
Conceived
Our parents
Entered us
Into this contract
And once
We were born
We finalized it
By signing
In black and white
Our footprints
To acknowledge
Our life
Granting death
His access
To began his wait
If you do not
Believe me
Just look
At your
Birth certificate
It states
A beginning
Of life
With death
Undetermined
So now
You are
Entered
Into the game
Of chance
No one is immune
To the final
Decision
Or what will
Be the end
Of our life
May it be
Today
Tomorrow
Or days from now
A car
A bullet
A virus
Or
Natural causes
May be
Your way
It is a toss
Of coin
Heads
Or
Tails
Until balance
Comes back
And it’s up to
Mother Nature
And Grim Reaper
To keep tossing
That coin
To determine
Everyone’s fate

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Whirring Out Of Control”

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This is
Where
We live
Where
We will die
In a world
Full of greed
It is
A money making
Conglomerate
Making money
At any cost
Set rules
Made by
The corrupt
Filling their
Pockets
Full of cash
Willing to
Risk
Everyone’s lives
By putting things
In food
That
No one
Can pronounce
And
Shelving
Pharmacies with
Legalized drugs
With side effects
Stating on
The warning label
It can kill
Harm
Or
Make you insane
And your body
Will never be
The same
Hooked on addictive
Properties in it
Just trust
It anyway
To save you
While you
Playing
A silent game
Of Russian roulette
How do you get
Balanced
When you’re
Unbalanced
Stumbling around
Falling
With nothing
To help
You stand
Up on your feet
When it is
Constantly moving
Shifting
And sliding
All over place
Today
What is bad
For you
Is now
Good for you
There is nothing
Safe
What kept people
For centuries
Alive
Is no good for us
We are dying
Much sooner
And it’s said
Our life is
For the better
I’m not sure
Is it

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I Value My Safety”

Why is it
That some people
Include me
In games
I don’t want
To play
Too many people
Putting me
In deadly situations
With riddles
That don’t
Make sense
And no
Plausible answers
To guess
I’m hanging
From
Death traps
I can not
Escape
There are no
Safety nets
To catch me
From sudden death

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I’m a guareenteed
Loser
In this game
When there
Are no
Rules
To keep me safe
I can not
Understand
Why there are
People
Happy at
Putting me
In danger
Because
They believe
My safety is
Not a value
To them
I am not
Put here
To be
Played with
Or
Entertainment
For people
That are
Unhappy
With their
Life

-Yellowbonewonda

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“My Limit Is Here”

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Keep trying me
I dare you
My heart is
Out of this
Stop testing me
You really
Want me to
Fail drastically
I have no more
Cheeks
To turn
I’m there
Now
I’m tired of
Deceitful
Trifling liars
Being around
Here
I am
No
Saint
By any means
It will be
A cold day
In hell
Before
I die
For anyone’s sins
I’m tired of
People taking
My kindness
For weakness
It was called
Tolerance
And it is
At the limit
You’ve
Done me wrong
You’ve voided
Your
Unconditional
Love status
That bridge
You had
It’s condemned now
And deadly
To travel
I am not
Your mother
A friend
Or your family
Don’t
Call me
I don’t want to
Smell your
Shit fragrance
I will never
Help you
If you’re stranded
I can’t stand you
I’m ready to
Snap back
And finish this
I’ve extended
My hand
I’m done
Being the
Better one
It’s time
For me to be selfish
I’m Saving my
Last fingers
To survive with
I just want
Peace
And to be
Left alone

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Tunnel Vision”

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I do not
Need
To walk
In anyone
Else’s shoes
I will
Never be
A failure
I’m a winner
In my heart
Of hearts
I came
To my senses
I saw
What I was meant
To be
It’s not
Being with you
That person
Was a stranger
That possessed
My body
And corrupted
My soul
I cried
For days
To cleanse
Myself
When I wiped
My eyes
I was able
To see
The truth
For the
First time
I saw
With new sight
It was a
Vision of beauty
It was me
Smiling bright
I was
Without you
And my
Life was
All right
I promised myself
To never
Allow that image
To fade away
I finally
Had my strength
You made
Me weak
In the past
I could only see
Through
Tunnel vision
I got so far
Off track
I was
On a mission
Trying to prove
You wrong
Forgetting
Myself
Just for that
Short while
It felt like
An eternity
Walking
In your shoes
I was
Doing dumb shit
Mirroring you
Your stank
Attitude
And I allowed
Your anger to
Consume me
I was lost
Inside of you
I had to get out
I broke
The only rule
I had for myself
To always
Be true
Be me
And never
Be a duplicate

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Inexcusable Behaviour”

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I’ve recorded
And analyzed
Everything
Mentally
Never
Forgetting
The lies
That left
Your mouth
So easily
I won’t
Forget
That you lied
Straight to
My face
I remembered it
As if it
Was yesterday
So vividly
I can still
Taste
The hate
That spued from
Your mouth
You lacked
Self-respect
And all dignity
Your
Actions
Spoke
With fluidity
While slug
And sewage
Poured
Slowly
From all your
Crevices
Stinking up
The air
There was
No way
To breath
Around your
Poisonous
Toxicity
The habits
You’ve developed
From your past
Is hindering you
And
You’ve formed a
Very distinctive
Pelicular feature
That shields you
You are unable
To respect
Those good
To you
But today
My truth
Will be
Smacking you
I was born
With the capability
Of seeing
Truth
And
Bull shit
Around me
I treat
Your words as
Little Particles
Floating
In the air
About to plague
My environment
With a
Virus
With no cure
For me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Not In Line For You”

You said
You would
Need me
Want me
And
Love me
And only me
For life
But it wasn’t
The truth
Your sidechick
I guess
Had enough
Of you
Telling her
You would
Leave me
Divorce me
And make
Her your
New wife
You had
No intentions
In leaving
Her
Nor I
And that became
Your biggest mistake
You put
Your trust
In a scorned
Woman
With secrets
You kept
From me
And she got
Tired of
Your many excuses
She did
What she felt
Would make
Her happy
With one click
Destroying us
Sending
All the
Proof of
Your explicit
Relationship
Letters
Videos
Chats
In black
White
And color
Your cheating
Has costed
Us everything
It was
An ultimate kill
Killing us
Quickly

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I will not
Be the other woman
Waiting in line
For you
I gave you
All of me
You threw
It away
For a romp in
The hay
With someone
Otherthan me
Imploding
Everything
That mattered
Between us
There is
No way
To fixing
This mess
You created
Call her up
I know
She’s waiting for you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“My Enemy Of My Enemy”

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You live
With them
Everyday
Going to
Family events
Birthdays
Funerals
And
Holidays
You shouldn’t
Have to
Be afraid
Of what
They will
Do behind
Your back
But you are
You can’t
Trust them
As far as
You can throw
Them
It’s that
Heartbreaking
Saying
Who needs
Enemies
When you have
Family
No stranger can
Do worst
Than them
Than people
Closer to you
They know
You better
Than anyone
They are family
Your secrets
Are their ammunition
And they use
Them
Like bullets
Hitting you
In rapid
Fire sessions
Center mass
Shredding your heart
Into pieces
Guaranteeing no
Chance of rescuitation
All that’s
Needed to
Be done
Is to
Pronounce you
DOA
At the scene

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Karma Will Get You”

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I feel
Every time
I’m around you
I’m dry drowning
In front of you
I can not depend
On you
To save me
If I do
I should
Give up now
Lay down
And let mother nature
End my pain
And
Devour me
It’s just
The realization
I’ve come to
I’ve realized you
Will never
Attempt to come
To my rescue
You’re a liar
Manipulator
A con artist
You lie
About everything
Telling everyone
The sky is gray
When everyone
Sees it’s blue
You have never
Told the truth
To save one life
Including yours
That’s why
You are dead inside
God forbid
If you ever
Said to anyone
I put it on my
Mother
Father
Brother
Sister
Daughter
Son
Life
Everyone would
Fall dead then
No one will
Survive your curse
On them
You would like it
Wouldn’t you
You’re delusional
If you believe
You’ve fooled
The world
Your obsession
With yourself
Is clear as
A sunny day
In June
You want what
You want
At any cost
Not caring
Who gets hurt
In the process
You have
No heart
To give
And
Compassion
Is a curse word
If anyone
Ask for it
From you
You are evil
You get kicks
And thrills
Out of
Tormenting
People
God
Does not like ugly
You will get yours
I don’t have
To do nothing
To you

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Fountain Of Youth”

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I gave
My love
Freely
Being
Deaf
Blind
And
Stupid
All together
Misguided in the game
Of love
Giving too much
Too soon
Being all in
On love
Giving
One hundred percent
Before I knew
You better
You
Kept your distance
But reeled me in
While still remaining
To be a stranger
Refusing to give
Your entire heart
Or even a piece
Of it
Yet I still
Did not
See it as
A game
You were playing
I should have
Known better
I gave
My youth
To you
And you did not
Deserve it
You was
A taker
And not a giver
You loved
Bathing
In my tears
On a daily
Not caring
About your actions
You thrived on
Making me weaker
As you grew strong
While laughing
At my
Crippling demeanor
Now when
I looked
In the mirror
I see
Something that’s
Not me
A Weak
Broken
Woman
I had to finally
Face myself
The truth was
You was never
My hero
Just
Low level zero
That played me
I wish
I had noticed
It sooner
I was
Hell bent
Being in loving
With someone
I did not
Want to see
Anything clearer
I was denial
I have to
Stop searching
For love
In all the wrong places
Then blaming others
On my bad decisions
I stayed
Too long
In a situation
Where I was
Slowly dying
And recharging
Someone else’s
Power

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Animal Insincts”

I’m reduced to
Waiting for someone
To feed me my food
Through a closed
Fortified door

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People still feel my frustration
Fearing my aggressiveness
Afraid of my sharp teeth
And razor cut claws
These prison guards know
How much I hunger for freedom
And if they make one slip up
I won’t waste my opportunity
They think I am the lesser of humanity
That my life is not valuable as any other life
On this Earth
I watch as they Kill us
One by one as if it’s for sport
Mounting our heads on their wall
As if it was a fair fight
Using bullets
Tazers and tranquilizer darts
Pretending to be the ultimate predator
But come at me without your weapons
And you will see my aggressive nature
I have been a caged animal
For so long
Captured by man
Taken from my home
Separated from my pride
A magnificent beast
I was
Full of life
No one could compare me
To any other
I turned heads by my shining grace
I was a majestic royal
I made the laws of the lands
Even though it’s confusing
I was feared by everyone
And loved by all
Top of the food chain
Inside my own domain
Now I’m reduced to
People’s amusement
They point and laugh
At my sadness
I’m stuck in this cage
Missing my home
Imprisoned for the rest of my life
I’m disappearing
Diminishing to a mere house pet
I must remember everyday
And not be broken down
I am a fierce predator
That stands in front of you
I have strong bloodlines
Coursing through my veins
Calming my spirit
Encouraging me to imagine
The crisp air back home
Feeding the predator in me
I am not just an animal
And it doesn’t
Give you
The right
To erase my kind
As if we don’t matter
I am a determined
To get back to my family
You will not be
Stuffing or mounting me
Any time in the near future

-Yellowbonewonda

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“I’m Here For You”

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When you’re feeling down
You can’t sleep
My sleep
Is not your problem

Talk
Decompress
Voice your frustrations
My ears are always yours

I will listen
And reassure you
This is another test
That we will pass together

I may not agree
With your choices
Or the way you
Live your life

I’m not here
To judge you
That’s only
For the almighty

If I said
I am your best friend
Your lover
Your companion

I am whatever
You need me to be
I have
Only one condition

Don’t ever
Betray or
Cause irreparable harm
To me

I will always be there for you
Being your
Negotiator
And a cheerleader

To cheer you on
To give you encouragement
To tell you the truth
To talk you off the ledge

That you are so close to
Jumping off of
Stop
Look

I’m Standing
Right there
Beside you
Holding your hand so tightly

My spirit
Will always be there
My love
Will always surround you

I am not a person
That will give up on you
I will never kick you any further
When you’re already so far down

At your lowest
In a hole
So deep
The air is smothering

Reach for my hand
It is your choice to take it
I will protect you
As if I’m your guardian angel

That feeling of pain
Doubt
And the urge of giving up
When there is no one else around to help you

I am not those other people
I’m in your life
Stopping believing
Those demons

Clouding your head
You are never alone
If I a capable
I will get to you

When you really need me
There is no expiration
Of what I am to you
So don’t hesitate to call on me

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Breaking Down”

I have not done it in awhile
But I had a good reason
My body was not prepared
For the new stretches

Muscles have weakened
Stiff and not as limber
As it once was
Only a few years ago

I bent over to
Touch my toes
As I came up
I stopped

Suddenly half way up
I grabbed
Under my breast
Swelling had already set in

As big as my palm
Increasing by the second
Almost covering half my body
Over my ribs

It felt so unnatural
All I could do was
Hold on to dear life
To a chair arms length away
from me

The pain was nothing
I could walk off
My eyes teared up
Someone noticed

Causing panic all around me
People rushing to my rescue
My silence and facial expressions
Said it all

I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t breathe
I could only hear the person

Standing next to me
Holding me up
Saying
Take a slow

Deep breath
Breathe breathe
Don’t tense up
It wasn’t working

The attention of everyone staring
Made me more anxious
I was panicking
The surges were hitting me

Worser than the other
Getting rapid and stronger
Coming one after another
Not giving me a chance to catch my breath

Don’t touch me
Don’t move me
Played in my head
Just leave me be

I can get through this
Don’t bother
It was as if something was moving
Under my chest outward

It felt like a ripple effect
As if someone
Had thrown a pebble
Into a body of still water

Causing
A sound so clear
But faint
And if you turned away

Before the pebble hit
You miss the awesomeness
In seeing something so small
Causing water

To move in rapid motion
Creating mini
Circles
Expanding bigger and bigger

Until it disappears
But to me
It was not awesomeness
It was pure torture

So bad I felt like I was having
An out of body experience
Escaping for a moment
Until it was safe

To re-enter
I would not
Wish this pain
On my worst enemy

I hate being this broken
Helpless
And so angry
Because no one knows how to fix me

20170802_201056

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Shadow Games”

I am not satisfied
Not by the food I eat
Not by the career I chose
Not even my purpose in this life

I question myself on a daily
Where am I going
In this lifetime
I have been wondering aimlessly
Far too long

I am hungry for something
That feels so far
Out of my reach
This craving has created sleepless nights
Making me delirious and crazy

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It has me spinning in circles
Chasing my tail
I am so clueless
I do not know what I want

Or what direction to go
I am a dog looking for my bone
Unsure
Where I buried it

It seems I’ve been searching
For what I’ve been missing inside myself
So long it’s becoming an unsolvable mystery
My anxiety has been building up

Feels like a volcano
Ready to erupt
Flowing out Hot lava
Burning everything it touches

This hunger of mine
Is a torturous thing
Never giving me peace
My stomach is always rumbling

As if I am starving
But I skip no meals
I have always cleared my plate
I eat everything

Getting my nourishment
It’s not enough
I have never felt full
A familiar emptiness

That has been with me
Since my first breath
That has grown stronger and stronger
Day after day

I am being pulled
In all directions
I feel I’m coming undone
I am afraid

That what I’m searching and craving for
May never be found
My hunger is leading me blindly
Only to have me chasing shadows

-Yellowbonewonda

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