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You want me
You need me
You don’t call me
But you love me
I’m chasing
My tail
As if it’s my arch enemy
My mind
Is swirling
I’m not comprehending
That
It’s my own damn tail
I’m drooling
And craving
Revenge on
You got me twisting
Like a human pretzel
What do you want from me
Better yet
Get the hell away from me
I feel you are just
Coming back to demolish
What was left of me
That you wasn’t able
To get the first time
You came through
Devastating me
I’m feeling that familiar
Feeling
The hairs
On the back of my neck
Standing at attention
It’s your weird
And creepy presence
That has my body
Overreacting
Are stalking me
Spying on me
Shadowing me
I know
You are waiting to see
When I am happy
To tear that joy
Out of me
Hacking it
To pieces
You are
A life force leech
Sucking all the good
From me
Then leaving me
In a whirling vortex
That makes me dizzy
I have to step back
To reevaluate
Gain a new perspective
I can not
Find my bearings
Anymore
My equilibrium is off
I don’t know
Which way is up
Or if I’m falling
While standing still
I feel my life
Is upside down
The ground
Is where the sky should be
And the sky
Is where the ground should be
I’m not safe
By no means
I’m either going
To fall
Splattering on the ground
Or continue
Drifting into space
For eternity
There is no middle ground for me
Staying in between
Anything
It is not an option
Or being in the gray area
I refuse to let you stay there
I can not
Allow you to float
There indefinitely
We are not
Even in the same books
I’m in Romance and Non-fiction
You’re in Drama and Crime Story
How did I let you
Get away with
Telling
Half truths
Or
Flat out lies
I sit here
Engulfed in my thoughts
Self-reflecting
Questioning how
This puzzle
Can’t be
Piece together
It’s missing
All it’s vital pieces
Was this your intention
To hide
Them from me
I’m finally acknowledging
There is no type of closure
And no way to rebuild from
All the trauma
So let’s just call this
What it is
Uninhabitable territory

-Yellowbonewonda

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