“Your Own Insanity”

Some people create their own horrifying storm
That take out many

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Unrequited love
A Powerful
Euphoric feeling
Dangerous for everyone
It involves

A hunger
And Thirst
That can not be filled
Because it’s a one way street

The Desires
The Intensity
It’s Spectacular
It’s Indescribable

You hear in your head
You love me
You adore me
You want to feel me
You want me

You want them to say
Come kiss me
Come touch me
Come admire me
Come to me

Something that is so dangerous
To fall into
When you are the only one
Feeling this

You’re locked in
A world of your own making
Manipulated by your own mind
Never really knowing the object of your affections

Is truly not yours

You use it as a double-edged sword
If I can’t have them
No one can

The insanity that’s in your mind
It’s what it is
INSANITY

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-Yellowbonewonda

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“She Was Told”

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By Hollywood
By society
By magazines
By men
She was told what beauty was

That
You have to be thin
You have to be blonde
You have to have straight hair
You have to be anything you’re not

She has no one to convince her otherwise
And if she does
She’s not listening

She cuts herself to feel something
She starve herself to get skinny
She hates herself because she can’t see herself

Because she’s not the image of what she was told she should be

She does not see she is beautiful
The way she is
The way she talks
The way she walks
The way she is herself

She does not see her self
As beauty
But she is

She is a queen by her own right
She is a lover with the ability to nurture
She has birth nations of kings and queens
She has the strength of a warrior

She does not
Need to be told what she is

She is light
She is love
She is strength
She is beauty

No matter
Your size
Your shape
Your color
Your hair

You are beauty

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Free Yourself”

Are you going to rise up
Or
Are you going to fall by the wayside
Are you a leader
Or
Are you going to follow the leader
Never seeing nothing
Other than the back of someone’s head

When do you think for yourself
When will you stop and listen
To the music playing all around you
The world is a symphony with its own instruments

So dance and sing freely
Dance and sing like you are in your bedroom
Or in the shower
Dance and sing like no one else is watching
Like there is no care in the world
And you are finally free

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Free of bullying
Free of peer pressure
Free of expectations
Free of hate

Everyone in this world
Has problems
Has struggles
Has weakness

But to rise up from the fire around you
All you have to do is rise

Your feet are for walking
Your head is for thinking
Your hands are for working
Your mouth is for talking

Use them to begin
The chapter of YOU

-Yellowbonewonda

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“Ticking”


By: Yellowbonewonda

Sitting on my living room couch
Nothing on
Nobody around
I heard out of the silence
In this house
A Ticking

Tick
Tick
Tick

I’m drifting off to a place
Where there is an abundance of
Images and words
Colors and emotions
Flooding my brain
One after the other
With control and grace
Like the rise and fall of a wave in the ocean coming towards the shore

I am calm
I’m at peace
It is drowning me
But not killing me

I’m breathing while submerged in the deep dark blue
I’m seeing life
In balance
That man has not reached
With their nets
With their poles
With their submarines
No one has ever seen such a place
That’s so prehistoric
Way before our time

Under the deep dark blue
I’m surrounded by majestic beings
Swimming by as if I was part of this beautiful world
As I’m enjoying the power of life like no other
I hear

Tick
Tick
Tick

And I return
Recharged
With just a glimpse of what is in store for me
To my living room couch

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“Specialist”

the_only_one_rough_800By: Yellowbonewonda

Fragile

Handle with care

It’s already broken

Don’t break it more

Don’t toss it around

Then kick it on the ground

It’s already not working properly

You don’t need to damage it more

The warranty is expired

I forgot to renew it

Where can I get it inspected

Where can I get it fixed

Money is no problem

Where is the best of the best

I don’t want no one with no experience

To fix it temporarily for it to break again

I’m not looking for a person 

Looking for job security

I don’t need you to tinker with it

I don’t need you to pretend you know what you doing

I need the top specialist

The one that the government use

I fear my heart is broken

I can’t explain it

It’s not working like before

Before love

Before lost

Before the sorrow

Before the pain

Before someone

Shot it

Stabbed it

Ripped it out

Stomped on it

Lit it on fire

And blew its ashes away

Before innocence was taken

Before emotions of

Compassion

Hope

Trust

And love

Started blinking

I’m getting the flashing warning signs

But I’m passing by every repair shop

Just looking for that specialist

That no one knows his whereabouts

He only takes special clients

Finding you

And you not finding him

I hope I’m on his radar

Because I’m in fear

Fear of not fixing it

Fear of not feeling

Fear of losing it

Because its no way to replace it

No one carry the special parts

It was made one of a kind

So if the Specialist

Is out there

Please find me

Because I’m in need of repair

 

 

 

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“Not So Tempting”

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By: Yellowbonewonda

Behind that cold
Dead soul
Your eyes where so hypnotic
You thought you could tempt me
To do things against my character
To do things you wanted me to do
To be something
Or
Someone I wasn’t supposed to be

Such a cold
Dead soul
Behind those eyes
Dead from the first time
I laid my eyes upon them

I thought I could bring you out of  the darkness
That surrounded you
And
Let you see the beauty around you
Through
My spirit
My eyes

But I wasn’t enough to fill you
You drained every part of me
Except for what I hid from you
Out of survival
It was built into my DNA
Before my first breath into this world

Too dear for me to lose
Something I cherished
That was my greatest gift
That made me
Me
That no one could take from me
Including you

I wanted the best for you
I wanted happiness for you
I wanted to love you

You thought my kindness
Was weakness
That cold
Dead soul
Showed me
You
Could not feel for me

When I was weaken by you
You ignored my pain
You
Could not want me

When I needed you to hold me
You ignored my need to be close to you
You
Could not love me

When I needed it unconditionally
You judged every part of me

Enough is enough
Keep your
Cold
Dead Soul
Because
I am finally released from you

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” Surrounding Me”

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By: Yellowbonewonda

Because my angels
Are all around me
With their wings surrounding me
Blocking out the negative interference of doubt and fear

I woke up this morning not comprehending
I was flying so far away from home
Where war was going on
I was going to be part of helping a military community

I walked off the plane in this foreign land
No ideas shaped in my head
Of what was ahead of me
No thoughts of the reality
Had set in

Just a few hours from now
I was going to wake up in a desert
Twenty to a tent
Bunk beds stacked on top of each other
A summer camp theme
I guess

Females
Just panicked females
All around me
Looking lost

I sat
My boots
My helmet
My Body Armour
By my bed
My bedsheets came down from the top bunk all around me
I was in my own world in the middle of a desert

Surrounded by military on Christmas Eve
I prepared for sleep
With a meal
And
A shower
Before bed

I slept through the celebrations
I slept through the gunfire that shot in the air
I slept through the helicopters hovering above
I slept peacefully like I was in paradise

Undisturbed by what was going on
Calm
Protected
Peaceful
Sleep

As I woke up after my first night in a tent full of frantic females
I felt refreshed unbothered by what crept in the night

I was confused
The next day of the stories they told
The fears they were expressing
The tears they were crying

I was confused
I knew nothing of what they talked about
But I was in the same tent they all slept in

I shrugged off their misfortune
I shrugged off their fears
I shrugged them off

Her only daughter
In unknown lands
In dangerous conditions
Unable to get to if I was hurt

Mommy I’m calm
Was the first words I spoke
After a couple days settling in
Which eased her

Because I knew
I was surrounded by my angels
I was safe
With nothing to fear

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“Riches”

He was a dream
That became my reality

He was the Prince
I never saw coming

He was a life
That was only meant for me

He was the gold
At the end of the rainbow

Almost everything changed in my life
Making things all the while better
In this crazy reality

He was the richest man
In love
And
Had plenty to give me

A whisper of
I love you
Tickled my ear
It was warm
With a
Strong voice behind it
Confident

He knew
He had me
He knew all my faults
And
It still didn’t discourage him

His words
Became images of beauty
That captured
All of my attention

His heart
Surrounded by vibrant colors
That just made me happy
To be around him

When I looked into his eyes
The heavens opened
No cloud
No rain was in sight

I knew I was his rib
Once
He lifted my chin
And kissed me upon my lips
The feeling of love overcame me

As his breath poured
Throughout me
Air was much easier to breathe
It was fresh and crisp

In darkness
He brought light

With just a smile he gave
With no effort

In sorrow
He brought love

With a single
Gentle touch
He loved me
And
Only me
Making
Me
The richest Woman

~ Yellowbonewonda  

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“Love Junkie”

By: Yellowbonewonda

Keeping it my little secret

Is hard

People are seeing the change in me

Or

Am I paranoid

I’m not in denial

I know my addiction

I am a stone cold junkie

With a monkey on my back

I’m carrying it like a backpack

I can feel it coming

An intervention

I’m not going

I’m not going into rehab

I’m not denying

I get high

Like a kite

On the best winds

I’m a junkie

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My body is hooked

And my supplier

Can give me the best quality

It’s like no other

They can lock me up

Under the jail

In the dungeon

I ain’t giving him up

I get one hit

And

And

I’m sitting on top of the world

There is no feeling like it

I ain’t giving it up

Stop asking me to do it

I don’t know why I do it

It feels so good

I’m not giving in

To an intervention

I tell you

I’m not gonna let you detox me

I’m a love junkie

I said it

And I screaming it loud

And as long as he’s supplying

I’m gonna be searching for my next fix

The weakness in my knees

The crinkles in my toes

The hairs standing on my body giving me chills

He makes me numb to everything else

That kills my spirit

I’m lifted by every

Puff

Pill

Or shot

I can’t wait to get my next fix

I’m ducking into the shadows

Getting down and dirty with it

I’m not running

From it

Build my coffin

Because the next chance I get

I’m gonna overdose on his loving

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” Be my Honey”

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Know me
Like you know yourself

See me
As if
I was a lost piece of your soul
And you can’t live without me

Feel me
As if
Your hands are remembering my curves for the first time
Every time you touch me

Love me
Like no other will or could
For the rest of our lives
Can you promise to live a lifetime
As a Honeymooner with me
Enjoying each other
As if it was the first time
And a lifetime since we met

Pounding hearts that beat out of our chest
When we see each other
A constant flutter of butterflies
Dancing in our stomachs
When we are near each other
Never feeling enough is enough
Always wanting more

Sharing laughter for the hell of it
For no other reason
Other than to be silly

Having unconditional love
Knowing that
We will be complicated
But always as one
Being constant companions
Knowing I am your
Best friend
Lover
And playmate

As well as you be mine
Acting like children on the playground
Playing games that are silly
And using the world as our playground
Exploring every part of it
Journeying through life
Side by side

By boat
By plane
By train
By car
And Walking
Hand in hand

Journey with me
Experiencing first moments
All the rest of our lives

We will laugh
We will cry
We will love
We will loath
We will be strength
As well as
Each other’s weakness

We will be
Forevermore
Honeymooners
Walking
Side by side

~ Yellowbonewonda  

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